Educating a child is like a table with 3 legs. All three legs need to be there or it will fail. inorder for a child to succeed they need supportive and active parents, they need to be interested in learning, and then there is the teacher. I have seen it time and time again where the teacher is blamed for the child not succeeding. Remember the teacher is only 1/3 of the equation. There could be a few problems like a learning disability with the child. In my experience it has been the parents lack of support in the child's education.
Here's one example. One of my second graders was responsible for EVERYTHING. He had to make his own lunch, complete his own homework, get himself up in time for school, and get himself to the carpool. He was 7 and failing second grade. I discussed this with his parents and all the blame was placed on the child. He needed to do better. How sad.
This is an extreme case but there are steps as a parent you can take to make sure you aren't the leg that is falling short.
1. Display your child's work - show an interest in what they are doing. Let them know you think what they are doing is great, and if it's not their best tell them.
2. Keep some of their projects and achievements - My mom had file of my schoolwork. It was fun to go through after I graduated from high school and it is now fun to share with my kids.
3. Ask them what they learned today - We do this around the dinner table. Even though my kids are young they are still expected to answer for the days activities. Leave the TV OFF and talk!
4. Please, please, please help them with their homework or at least make sure they do it - set aside a certain time every day when they do their homework. I like to have my kids sit at the table while I make dinner. That way I am there if they need help and can make sure it's getting done. They also get the break right after school that they need. They may fight it for a while but I promise if you stick your ground and make it a habit they will eventually give in and the fights will become less frequent.
5. Keep some extra glue sticks, scissors, crayons, and paper at the house - No matter how wonderful you are at setting the schedule of when homework is completed every once in a while a big project will be due tomorrow and you just found out about it at 10 the night before. Thank goodness Walmart is open all night. Kids can't do their best if they don't have the supplies. The majority of projects are now done on the computer so an extra one would be nice too. Just make sure it's out in the open and has the proper safety settings. My computer is in the kitchen.
6. Have a quiet place for them to study - I don't recommend the bed. It's too easy to fall asleep when you study in bed.
7. Send them to school - Schedule Dr. appointments and other activities around the school schedule as best you can. If they have to miss for one reason or another do it in the late afternoon. Most of the important stuff is done in the morning.
8. Make sure they are always doing their best.- My son likes to color. A majority of the time it's just scribbles. Only his best work goes on the fridge for all to see. Don't be afraid to make them redo. If it's not their best the teacher doesn't want it and they should not want to put their name on anything but their best.
9. Encourage them to study with others - this makes studying fun, just make sure there is at least some studying happening. This would be best for upper elementary to high school. They will remember more as they share and teach their peers.
10. Attend parent-teacher conferences and other parent meetings - Make sure your kids know that you think school is important.
11. Never, never, NEVER, criticize the teacher in front of your child!!!! - One family did this constantly, I know this because of how the kids acted in my classroom ( a set of twins). Lets say they weren't doing their best at school and it was because they believed I was attacking the kids. The best part was when we would discuss the problems they would say they fully supported me. You are not supporting your child's teacher if you tell them, or your spouse what a horrible job they are doing in the background.
12. Avoid making judgements when there are problems at school - There are too sides to every story. I have also had many discussions with parents about how different their child is at school versus at home. A shy child at home may be the wildest one in the classroom. We act different in different situations, so do our kids. Most teachers aren't out to attack your children. If they are they shouldn't be teaching! There are better things you can do with your time.
13. Attend programs and activities in which your child are participating. - Being a parent is a tough full time job but remember you are all your child has. One parent I frequently talked to reminded me that it was her name on the birth certificate not mine so if her child wasn't getting something she felt it was her responsibility to figure out why and how to fix the problem with me, not my problem alone to solve.
The last piece of advice I have to make a wonderful school year is to volunteer. Get to know your child's teacher. Know what they are like in the classroom and how they treat the kids. Some teachers will put on a show when a parent is in there but if you become a regular you will eventually see the real teacher and know what a normal day in the classroom is.
Teaching is a stressful job but that doesn't mean teachers can treat kids anyway they like.
Have a great school year!
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