Homework Blues

I was talking to a couple of parents at my husbands work yesterday and they were talking about homework troubles. Both of them were sharing horror stories about trying to get their kids to do homework. I use to work with kids that would do the same thing. My kids are not in school yet and out of the 3 of them I think my little girl will give me the most problems. My first piece of advise is be consistent. Set a time and have a routine so they know what is going to happen and when. Remember they have just spent hours at school doing assignments and generally shouldn't be spending more than 10 minutes per grade level on homework (ex: if they are in 3rd grade they should only be spending about 30 minutes, 4th grade 40 minutes ect.) I don't include their 20 minutes of reading in this time. Some kids may have to spend more time on homework. If my students chose to play at school they had to do their work at home or at recess depending on when they decided to stop working. If they are spending more then this consistently then you should talk to their teacher. I believe that homework isn't to teach them a new concept, its to review what they already know, and to spark up a discussion between the child and the parent about what they are learning.

I remember that when I was in school we came home, had a snack, then got the homework done. If we didn't get the homework done we didn't get to go play with friends.

I have dealt with some pretty stubborn kids. This gets very frustrating because you want to go get your things done. One child I worked with refused to do anything. Wouldn't do their work, wouldn't talk to me, nothing. I made it very clear that I was ready and willing to help but I wasn't going to let them waste my time. When they wanted to talk and work I would be there but until they were ready I was going to get other things done. I told the child that they had to stay at the table until their work was done, then left to do another task still keeping the child in my sight so they couldn't sneak away. This gives them time to think about their choices without me trying to force them to do it. One thing I have learned is that you can't force a child to do something they don't want to do. You can however manipulate the situation so they will choose to get their work done. It's hard but you have to stick to it. The child eventually decided to complete the task and didn't need any help in doing so. She did however decided to sit and waste 10 minutes. We always talk about it afterwords so they can learn from their mistakes and hopefully things will get better later on. It took a little while of teaching the child that I wasn't going to budge just because she refused to do it. She did learn and was great at doing her homework from then on.

I was also talking to my grandma yesterday about kids as well. She is helping some family members out right now and has kids living in her house. She made the comment that when the kids' mom is there, they don't clean up and they fight, but when their mom is at work they put their dishes in the sink and are kind to each other. That's the same thing these parents said about getting their kids to do homework. Other's could help them but when mom came to help it was World War III. Many parents have this problem.

I have this problem. I can't get my little girl to do anything when she gets in a mood. She won't let me help, she won't listen, and she won't complete the assigned task. Many fits are thrown. But if her uncle asks, just once, she jumps up and does it. Sometimes the parent just has to step back and have someone else help for a little while. Just to maintain their own sanity. Both of these mom's are talking about hiring a tutor which is another option. If you don't/can't do that then remember to do what you think is best to handle the situation. I recommend setting a routine, don't give in to the stubbornness, and it should eventually (hopefully) work out to be a nice time to discuss what your child is learning.